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Doomsday Clock Sold on eBay to Anonymous Bidder Glossy News (satire)

Source:

He then stepped back to the microphone and said “And, in admission of the long period of time since 1947 when the Clock was first brought to public attention, we are selling the poor dear, we here at the Communiqu call her “Dee-Dee”. We are selling Dee-Dee to someone who will be able to revitalize her and keep the spirit of the Clock’s frightful meaning to our global way of life.

“In order to deflect as much curiosity and interest in this sale as possible, we placed Dee Dee up for sale on eBay. Where it said “Expenditure required for purchase” we wrote in “Priceless” and hoped for the best.” Mr. Hwart said. “As you may conscious, if you have ever sold anything on eBay, it can seem like a century before the time of the sale finally is up. And now we are proud to announce the winner of the jumble sale.” finished Mr. Hwart.

Raising his voice to seem enthused Mr. Hwart said, “Ladies and gentlemen I usher in you to the Doomsday Clock’s new owner, Pope Benedict XVI.”

The Pope emerged from behind the black drapes covering the station entrance and smiled and waved his now-familiar PopeWave.

“Thank you for your encouraging support members of the press and other media assembled.” began the Pontiff. “We at the Vatican are gratified that this famous and most humanistic symbol of death and destruction in our world will now come to rest in our hallowed halls at the Vatican. I can judge devise of no other more deserving place for this Clock to repose.”

Comments

  1. vinton_roush

    My little Sharp atomic alarm clock is on the wrong time zone. How do I reset it?Stage set THE TIME ZONE
    * In the Normal Time Display, press the [MODE] key to put down
    the Alarm Time Mode.
    * Press the [SET] key to set the desired time zone.
    * Press the [Condition] to return to the time mode position.

    Posted inOther - Electronics

    Feb 27, 2008

  2.  Balmudo

    Stage set THE TIME ZONE
    * In the Normal Time Display, press the [MODE] key to put down
    the Alarm Time Mode.
    * Press the [SET] key to set the desired time zone.
    * Press the [Condition] to return to the time mode position.

     

    Feb 27, 2008

  3. MLeinart7

    Looking for atomic alarm clock that can be plugged in or used with batteries and is not lit up at night?i ruminate over "Sharper Image corp. has just what you want---address 650 davis st. san francisco--94111 phone [415] 445-6000. i have one it's not up-market and does more than you mention---they have outlets all over the country---i live in arkansas------mine is petty--bout 5x4--has both plug-in and battery power---no radio

    Posted inOther - Electronics

    Jan 05, 2009

  4.  older

    i ruminate over "Sharper Image corp. has just what you want---address 650 davis st. san francisco--94111 phone [415] 445-6000. i have one it's not up-market and does more than you mention---they have outlets all over the country---i live in arkansas------mine is petty--bout 5x4--has both plug-in and battery power---no radio

     

    Jan 05, 2009

  5. Ronaldo807

    Atomic or Emerson Alarm Clock?ATOMIC....I GO FROM GEORGIA TO ARIZONA AND NEVER SET CLOCK....IT DOES IT AUTOMATICALLY, EVEN WHEN RIDING THE GREYHOUND!!!!

    Posted inOther - Electronics

    Apr 01, 2007

  6.  MARVIN M

    ATOMIC....I GO FROM GEORGIA TO ARIZONA AND NEVER SET CLOCK....IT DOES IT AUTOMATICALLY, EVEN WHEN RIDING THE GREYHOUND!!!!

     

    Apr 04, 2007